Anakin Skywalker's Journal
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orginally posted at Bridget's LJ
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Day One
Why does my master insist on lecturing me and eating at the same time? Doesn't he know he gets cereal flakes all over the place and including his beard? It's very distracting.
Day Two
Padme is coming to Corsucant tomorrow. Hooray! I will have to think of a better line than 'Are you an angel.' Hopefully, my manly Jedi self will be enough to win her over. I’ll show her my lightsaber. Maybe that will impress Padme.
On the negative, am having bad dreams.
Day Three
People are trying to kill Padme again. At least this time I am tall enough to see over the dashboard to thwart her enemies. Why people trying to kill her, I'll never guess. She's so cute!
Day Four
Master Yoda has been stalking through the halls muttering something about Wookies. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why.
Day Five.
Chancellor Palpatine has a cool swivelly chair thing. I want a cool swivelly chair thing!
Padme is even hotter than the last time I saw her. I mean, damn! Would give right arm for a piece of that!
Am now having even worse dreams. No longer are they scary visions of my mother’s gruesome death, but of Yoda, Wookies, and sugar glaze. I don’t think I will ever sleep again.
Day Six
Master is being an enormous prick. Maybe he’s just cranky cause Yoda keeps laughing at him over the cereal flakes and today he left a wash out conditioner in his hair. Still, that doesn’t give him the right to take it all out on me. I was just trying to be helpful… Okay fine, I was trying to impress Padme, but that doesn’t mean he has to be a jerk about it. Just because he can’t find a girl doesn’t mean the rest of us should suffer
later
Some equally hot chick tried to kill Padme. Okay, she was only hot until she got caught. Then she just lost it. Some dude in a jet pack, maybe ex boyfriend stopped me from getting her phone number. That was so rude.
Note to self: Get jet pack. Maybe that will impress Padme.
Day Seven
I get to escort Padme back home and act as her bodyguard and crap! Whoo hoo! Master did not seemed thrilled with this idea. I think he’s jealous.
Day Eight
Padme has a cool planet. She talked about water so much I thought she wanted to go swimming, but no. Great, now I won’t be able to sleep.
Then we sorta made out! Take that Master ‘I Have Crappy Personal Hygiene’! Whoo hoo!
Met her family. Sister very annoying, but equally hot. To distract myself, got into force food fight with Padme. I wonder if that impressed her.
Day Nine
We had to go to Tatooine. Maybe if I rescue my mom from slavery that will impress Padme.
Day Ten
I don’t want to talk about today. Lost chance to impress Padme in a very hurting way. On the plus side, after seeing me weeping like a baby-man over unspeakable loss and tantrum, she got a little touchy feely. Whoo hoo!
Day Eleven
Idiot master managed to get himself captured. Council wants me to stay her. Unlikely. Padme wants to go and maybe if I rescue master, that will impress her.
Day Twelve
I don’t think getting my ass whipped by ugly bug people impressed Padme.
Day Thirteen
Kicked ass today. Look out, separatist bastardos! Bad Ass Jedi on board. I think perhaps Master Windu’s constant rejections finally led him to snap. He got a little overzealous in the ass kicking. He needs to get laid.
Dooku tried to take Yoda’s donuts. Man, that was a mistake. You do not touch Yoda’s donuts. Even I know that. I wonder if my common sense will impress Padme.
On the downside, lost right arm.
Day Fifteen
I take that back. Giving my right arm really did get me a piece of that. Take that, master!
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