The Journal of C-3P0
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orginally posted at Bridget's LJ
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Day One
I hate the desert. Nothing but sand. Sand, sand, and more sand. I hate sand. Gets into bloody everything.
Day Three
Stupid sand people came by again. Hate sand and anything with the word sand in it. Sand people just as annoying as actual sand. Kept trying to sell me Amway. Told them to piss off.
Day Four
Found bucket's worth of sand poured all over living room. This was no accident. Stupid Cliegg made me clean up the mess. Was forced to miss 'All My Jawas.' Am getting close to having had it.
Day Five
Damn sand people with their damn Amway came by again. They made me an offer I refused. I like the Jawas better. When they over solicit, can drop kick them to Bespin. Tuskens much too heavy. Must be from all the donuts they consume.
Day Six
Backyard vanadalized. Spent better part of the day scraping paint off the walls. Not only did I get a ton of sand in my circuitry, but once again missed 'All Me Jawas.' Will find this vandal piece of poodoo. Will lay smackdown.
Day Seven
Wore Shmi's clothes today despite odd looks from Owen. Was tired of getting sand in circuity. Looks better on my than her. Anyhow, Owen was looking at me for a little too long. Hmm, perhaps Beru holding out on him again for making fun when she slipped and fell from the vandal paint, but it's all just a little disconcerting for me. I may be wearing women's clothes, but I am not gay! Why does everyone think I'm gay?
Day Eight
It was those damn sand people! Stupid, immature, donkey voiced, fauly product hocking, poodoo brains! Caught them pouring sugar into Owen's swoop bike gas tank. Have had it. Will swear revenge! Will go to villiage. Will blow up donut hut!
Day Nine
Because I had still been wearing Shmi's clothes at the time, sand people mistook her for me as the donut destroyer. So they kidnapped her and are likely inflicting unspeakable tortures on her as I type. Oops.
Day 39
The creator has returned! I'm going to so not mention the whole clothing and donut blowing up event. Am not an idiot.
Day 40
Creator kept asking the very cute Padme if she wanted to see his lightsaber. Repeatedly. How come he didn't ask me? I did not say that.
Day 41
On the downside, Shmi died. On the upside, stupid sand people also dead.
Day 43
For fear of the cross dressing incident coming into public light, have opted to leave stupid sand planet with creator and hot senator. Have been forced to room with foul-mouthed gumball machine.
Day 44
Stupid gumball machine pushed me off ledge today. Was only making casual remarks about robotics. He thought I was hitting on him. As if? Stupid little thing jangles all the time like he's been stuffed with quarters. Have been given new body. Kind of nice, but a little rickety. Hope no sand gets into it.
Day 45
Had head knocked off. Then pissy gumball machine dragged me through a warzone. I tried to say thank you, but he told me to piss off. Little gumball machine needs to get laid. Was amused to see little green booger man throw a fit when his donuts were stolen. Apparently no one takes his donuts either.
Day 46
Was invited to creator's wedding, but found self stuffed into storage container by whiny gumball machine during the reception. Will swear revenge. Will latch self on to gumball machine and insult him and whine and act generally prissy for the next 22 years.
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