Count Dooku's Journal
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orginally posted at Bridget's LJ
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Day One
Yoda has taken the last donut with sprinkles again. Have had it.
Day Two
Have been approached by aging politician type with lucrative new job offer. I don't know if I'll take it considering the dental plan sucks.
Day Three
Have decided to take up new job. Free donuts. Whoo hoo!
Day Four
Have decided to change name on the advice of new master on account of Dooku is striking fear in the hearts of no one. Am still recovering from other Jedi referring to me Master Dorku. Will swear revenge.
Day 200
Now remember why I was in such a damn hurry to take the trials. Being an apprentice sucks Bantha balls. Kill this. Threaten that. Pick up my dry cleaning. He only has one robe, dammit it. Why not buy more? It's not like dark flowing robes are hard to come by!
Day 345
Have been ordered to recruit buff bounty hunter for the raising of massive clone army. My suggestion for using foxy former padawan went unheeded.
Day 400
Bounty hunter seemed very open to the idea of cloning. Said he was spread to thin, could use another one of him around the place. He seemed a bit suspicious of why I wanted him as prototype. Thought maybe I was hitting on him. Maybe... no. Bounty hunter types too flighty. Then again…
Day 3650
Master has now asked me to hire bounty hunter type to kill hot senator from Naboo. Not sure why, such a little cutie. Oh well, orders are orders...
Day 3651
Apparently assassin hired assassin to do the assassinating for the assassin then assassinated the assassin. Wow, that's redundant
Day 3658
Had run-in with deceased apprentice's apprentice. What's the deal with the beard? Does he even know he has crumbs in it. Tried to reason with Pretty Boy, but he got all huffy. Made fun of my name. Hmmph. Will kick his ass later.
Day 3659
Buff bounty hunter is in a very pissy mood today. Said I don't pay enough attention to him. Well excuse me! Just a little busy trying to bring down the Republic and destroy the Jedi Order. Hmm... maybe should clone self, too. Gunray also in a pissy mood, but then he's always in a pissy mood. Said I don't care about his needs. At first thought maybe he was hitting on me until he went off about the Naboo hottie. Maybe... no.
Day 3660
Still trying to sort out why I have this stupid name. Dooku. It's not even scary.
Note to self: murder parents after finishing off Pretty Boy Jedi, his apprentice and apprentice's girlfriend.
Day 3661
In attempt to cheer up buff bounty hunter and to shut up Neimoidian doo doo heads, am going to have former appretince's former apprentice, his apprentice and former apprentice's apprentice's apprentice's girlfriend eaten by big monster things. Am selling tickets for it, too. Maybe then I will be able to afford better dental plan. Have seen pictures of the last guy... No thank you!
Day 3662
Mace showed up and threatened buff bounty hunter. He's too tense. He needs to get laid. Then the entire Jedi Order crashed party. Am quite miffed. In response, have stolen Yoda's donuts. Time to make the donuts, bitch!
Day 3663
Am quite sore today. Got ass royally whipped by little green booger man. If he wasn't such a donut hog, none of this crap would have happened in the first place. On the plus side, sliced up Pretty Boy Junior's arm. Whoo hoo! That's what you get for making fun of my name! All in all, still a good day. Master seems pleased with the plans for Giant Donut Hole.
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