Jango Fett's Journal
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orginally posted at Bridget's LJ
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Day One
So very busy. There just isn't enough me to go around.
Day Two
Have been approached by disgruntled old guy with lucrative cloning offer. Not sure if I will take it or not as I am a bit suspect of him. He smells too much like donuts. At first thought maybe he was hitting on me. Maybe… no. Jedi types, even former Jedi types too bloody uptight.
Day 1780
Damn, I’m sexy. Would you just look at all the sexy me’s!
Day 1784
Have been given a clone that is approximately ½ my size. I shall call him… Mini-Me!
Day 1785
It has been brought to my attention that Mini-Me is a bit egotistical and has already been taken. Do not wish to infringe on copyrights. Will name him Boba instead.
Day 3650
Old Donut reeking former Jedi with the stupid name has contacted me with new job. Have been hired to kill foxy chick from Naboo. Not sure why. She’s so cute. Anyhow, need the money to pay for new transmission, but would hate to miss Wookie Smackdown, so have hired equally foxy assassin to assassinate target. Wow, that’s redundant.
Day 3651
Foxy fouled up. Dammit, cannot miss Wookie Smackdown. Don’t want Mini-Me… I mean Boba to think I’m some sort of neglectful parent. Am good Dad. So I kill people and allow self to be cloned for massive army. That doesn’t make me a bad guy! Oh wait…
Day 3652
Am giving Foxy another chance. Told her if she gets it right this time, will take her for Superman style ride across town. Perhaps this will lead to snuggles.
Wookie Smackdown kicked ass. Would have been perfect if now for incessant beeping behind me. Afterwards, took Boba for frosties. Saw Foxy snuggling with Pretty Boy and younger Pretty Boy. Hmmph. Tried to kill Pretty Boy Junior for trying to make nice with possible girlfriend. Accidentally assassinated assassin. Assassinated assassin… I have a headache…
Day 3654
Was taken aback when Pretty Boy showed up at door. At first thought maybe he had come for snuggles, but no. Wanted to know about clones. Told him the original was far superior. Told me to screw myself. Pointed out that I already had until he clarified. Hmmph, not interested anyways. Well… maybe if he cleaned out beard crumbs.
Day 3655
Pretty Boy got all huffy and attacked me. I think he wanted to steal my cool darts. Broke my favorite jet pack. Will swear revenge.
Day 3657
Pretty Boy just doesn’t know when to quit. I think I may have a stalker. Kicked his ass good! Whoo hoo!
Day 3658
Disgruntled Old Guy With Stupid Name being all uptight. Apparently Pretty Boy made fun of his name. Silently agreed with Pretty Boy. It is a stupid name. Tried to get him to relax but he got all huffy. Told him he was being a little bitch thinking only about himself. Even former Jedis are so damn uptight!
Day 3659
Count Dorku… I mean Dooku is throwing big party with Pretty Boy, Pretty Boy Junior, and Pretty Boy Junior’s girlfriend getting eaten as main attraction. Told him to sell tickets. Then maybe he can afford better dental plan. His teeth are starting to go sour from all those donuts.
Day 3660
Jedi crashed party. Would have let them come if they would just buy tickets like everyone else, but nooo… Big guy with weird purple lightsaber made a scene. He’s too tense. I think maybe he needs to get laid. Then he threatened me with lightsaber. Have had it. Will now kick his ass.
Dooku took off with the donuts. That was a mistake. I get the sense that no one steals the donuts of the little green booger man.
Day 3661
Killed by overly tense Jedi. Am told Mini-Me… Boba has sworn revenge.
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