The Journal of Jar Jar Binks
_____
orginally posted at Bridget's LJ
_____
Day One
So bored. Am tired of being glorified office assistant. Think mebbe it is because I'm not as cute as Padme. Hmmph. Am too cute.
Day Two
Made up a song.
Who's that Gungan senator that's a sex machine to all the chicks?
Me!
You're damn right.
Bail Organa heard me singing and pointed at laughed at me. Will swear revenge. Stupid pasty man with stupid granola on mustache. Oh wait, that is supposed to be his mustache.
Day Four
How did Mace Windu's little black book get into my room? Heh, it's mine now!
Day Six
Yesterday I called one of the numbers from the book and managed to get a date with some hot chick from Naboo. Told her I was from Naboo too and held a position of power and had special anatomical powers. She seemed impressed. Repeatedly. She's coming to Corsucant tomorrow. On the down side, she kept complaining about having nothing to wear. Bit back saying 'nothing'. Told her just to grab anything and get over here.
Day Seven
Very sad today. Hot date dead. Perhaps is best. She seemed to have mental issues involving shoplifting and theft from Padme. Like I'd want anyone who looked like Padme. Padme, Padme, Padme. It's always about her!
Day Eight
Got left out of a meeting... again! And I really wanted to check out the Supreme Chancellor's new chair. He sent me about fifty messages about it. Big deal. So he's got a swivelly chair! I've got a six foot long tongue. Which one is going to impress the ladies more, I wonder.
Day Nine
Padme dropped by my place univited. Again. Then she brought over the Jedi. Was so distracted by the crumbs in Kenobi's beard, I forgot to try and kick Padme out. I had invited another chick from the black book over to take to Wookie Smackdown, then bring back over to watch 'Sleepless in Serreno'. Chicks dig that movie. Was not amused to have to listen to not so little Ani and Kenobi have a little contest over which one could be the most overly protective.
Day Ten
Even worse day today. Turns out next hot date got killed on the way to see Wookie Smackdown with me. Am getting close to having had it. On top of it all, she was an assassin apparently hired by another assassin to assassinate Padme. Wow, that's redundant. Should I be upset or happy? Hmm, it would have been so cool to date a hottie assassin for hire.
Day Eleven
Pretty Boy kept complaining about how he lost some planet. What, does the Jedi Archives have the only map of the galaxy? He could have just checked the glove compartment.
Day Twelve
Pretty Boy Junior left with Stupid Senator for fling in Naboo. Yeah, I'm so sure it was for her own protection. Wonder if she's seen his lightsaber yet?
Day Thirteen
Have been asked to present a motion to grant Palpatine special powers. Now it's Jar Jar's time to shine!
-later-
Got so nervous, kept messing up my speech. Got better though, standing ovation and everything. Take that, Miss Padme! Who's cute now, hmm?
Day Fourteen
Stupid Senator, Pretty Boy, and Pretty Boy Junior went and got themselves captured and stole my thunder. Have had it. Will swear revnege on those attention addicted ninnies.
So now the entire Jedi Council is off to rescue them. Seems a bit much for just three people. I tried to take one of Yoda's donuts, but then he used the Force to tie my tongue around a flagpole. Apparently, no one takes Yoda's donuts.
Day Fifteen
Stupid senator off with Jedi upstart. Of course, did not get an invite to the wedding, but am bidding on the honeymoon tape. Will have revenge! Will show tape to giant Q-Tip am now seeing. Repeatedly!
______
| Index |
| Home |