Padme Amidala's Journal
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orginally posted at Bridget's LJ
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Day One
Corde has been in my closet again! It was bad enough when Rabe fricken raided my closet. Don’t these people have their own clothes?
Day Two
I chased Corde all the way to Coruscant. Just when I was ready to board and lay the smackdown, the ship blew up. I guess Corde’s excessive theft of my clothing finally caught up with her. Karma.
Day Three
Had a stupid meeting with stupid Chancellor in his stupid office with the stupid Jedi. I wanted to go shopping to replace all the clothes my handmaidens ripped off, but nooo… Somehow I get the impression that he didn’t real care that people were trying to kill me. I think he just wanted to show off his swivelly chair. Hmmph. My throne back when I was queen was way cooler.
Day Four
Yoda dragged me shopping with him. I thought we were going to go someplace cool like the Republic Banana, but all he wanted to do was find a chair. He kept muttering something about being more of a badass than the chancellor. He picked up this floaty chair that was too small for his butt and got stuck! Ha!
Day Five
Have agreed to let Jedi act as bodyguards. Will someone please tell me at what point little Ani turned into such a stud? I did not say that. And does Kenobi know he still has his breakfast on his face?
Day Six
Some chick tried to kill me last night. Not sure why. I’m so cute! Hmmph could hear Ani mumbling something about her being hot. I’m way hotter and not dead, so there.
Day Six
This is getting ridiculous. Palpatine told me I should go back to Naboo with Ani. I don’t want to miss the vote or Wookie Smackdown. Well, at least he’s trying to set me up with someone nice this time. I was not amused back when I first got elected as queen and he kept trying to push this tattooed reject on me. As if!
Day Seven
Forgot wallet in office so we had to take the bus back to Naboo. Ick. It’s sooo pedestrian. Ani kept asking me if I wanted to see his lightsaber. Told him I’d seen them before and was not impressed. Then he told me I’d like the way he handled it. What is it with guys and their lightsabers?
Day Eight
Am back on Naboo. Sister was being way annoying. I now remember why I threw myself into work. She kept batting her eyes at Ani. Doesn’t she know he’s MY man? I did not say that. Spent the better part of the day trying to get the quarters some idiot shoved into R2D2.
Day Nine
Went for a nice walk with Ani. Showed him this kick ass lake. Did not tell him about this one time I went swimming with handmaidens and royal guard. Did not want to give him ideas. He kept giving me these looks. God, when did he get hot? Couldn’t help myself and sort of made out with him. That had better have been his lightsaber I felt.
Day Ten
Ani took me to Tatooine. I think he wanted to rub in the fact that he made out with cute little me to all the people who picked on him when he was a slave… and something about rescuing his mom. Why the Jedi just left her there I’ll never guess. Stupid Jedi. So uptight. Especially that Mace guy… Mr. ‘I’m sure Dooku isn’t trying to kill you’ should take a look at my broken window. Maybe he wouldn’t be such a jerk if he would just get laid.
Day Eleven
It has been a lousy day. Felt bad for Ani so felt him up. I don’t know if that helped any.
Day Twelve
Kenobi got his Frosted ass captured. I insisted we go rescue him despite what the stupid council said. Ani was all for it. I was impressed.
How did that Prissy droid get on board? R2 insists it’s my fault, but I certainly didn’t put the little whiner on board. Ani denies it, too. What the hell?
Day Thirteen
Now some stupid bug people captured us. Am getting close to having had it. Jango keeps pacing outside of the cell muttering about snuggles. He is pretty sexy… I did not say that. Bastard assassin hired assassin to assassinate me and then assassin assassinated assassin who was going to assassinate me… Wow, that’s redundant. Still… no… Maybe… Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts…
Day Fourteen
The guy with the stupid name is going to have us fed to big monster things and Gunray stole my Republic Banana charge card. Have had it. Will kick his ass.
Day Fifteen
Laid the Smackdown today. Like I was just going to sit there and wait for Pretty Boy and Pretty Boy Junior rescue me. Broke free and killed a lot of ugly things. Then entire Jedi Order finally got off their butts and crashed the ‘Kill Cute Little Me’ party. The guy with the stupid name threw a fit and stole Yoda’s donuts. What, is he an idiot or something? No one takes Yoda’s donuts. So of course he got his ass royally whipped. Count Dorku cut off poor Ani’s arm. Will swear revenge.
Day Sixteen
Finally realized what Ani meant by showing me his lightsaber. Was impressed. Repeatedly.
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