The Secret Journal of Magneto
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orginally posted at Bri's LJ
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Day One
Am so terribly and hopelessly bored. If I knew prison would suck this much, would have... Oh this just royally blows.
Day Two
Prison wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the constant brainwashing and information milking. And I don't even get a cookie after. Damn this infernal federal system! And would it kill them to install some more cable channels? Cannot abide missing Sopranos again.
Day Three
Oh, just wait until Charles gets his Big Wheels in here. Stupid bald headed cue ball jerk head coming in every week to get all after school special on me. Just wait until overly bitter military type gets his hands on him. Will point and laugh. Will point and laugh regardless. Cannot afford to have reputation as a mad genius super villian type tarnished by prison.
Day Four
Overly bitter military type laid smackdown on Charles. Did not point and laugh as thought I would. Think perhaps this may all blow up in my face if I don't act. Damn karma.
Day Five
Mystique was kind enough to get excessive amount of iron into the blood of Guard Who Doesn't Bathe. Wait, now that I think of it, I'm not sure any of them bathe. Febreeze can only cover up so much. Don't wish to ask her how she got it in there. Mentioned it once and she twitched. Anyhow, got chance to cement mad genius super villian image by floating and cackling maniacally. I am superfly!
Day Six
Was right. Karma catching up. Mystique told me of plan to attack school and destroy all mutants. So much for Disneyland.
Day Seven
Stopped a plane just before crashing. Am so much cooler than Superman. Also look better in spandex, but that's so passe. Seems X-Men have made some additions to rag tag group of misguiding goody two-shoes. There seems to be a spandex obbessed young lad and a yuppie in the group. Hate yuppies. They also picked up some sort of super smurf along the way. My super smurf is way cooler, but would not dare call Mystique a super smurf to face as I want to live.
Day Eight
Seems the Wolverine is in the group as well. Is annoying how Mystique keeps drooling over his wacky haircut, mysterious air, rippling muscles, devil-may-care attitude. Damn. Even I'm turned on.
Day Nine
Had a nice chat with Anakin Skywalker type. Straightened him out good by pointing out that leather is much more effective than spandex and does wonders for enchancing manliness. Think perhaps I came off as coming on to the lad. Maybe I was. The boy is damn near irresistable.
Day Ten
Totally raided compound and totally stabbed good guys in the back, ha! First, Mystique laid the smackdown on stupid military wannabes then I whomped on the excessively creepy mind whammy making man. Then, I almost destroyed humanity. Basic cable that, prison system! Also picked up young Sky-Pyro and flew off into the sunset. Totally am the man.
Day Eleven
Would be so happy if Pyro would shut up about Spandex. Is making it hard to hear Tony.
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